In the spring of 1994, I went to San Diego to try out for the America3 Women’s Team. I’d forgotten what a rare opportunity that was (700 applications, and only 48 of us were invited for a week of sailing), but I still remember this: jumping down into the boat’s cavernous carbon interior to wrestle with a doused spinnaker, team uniform instantly covered in yellow dust from its tired painted sunflower logo . . . and trying not to cry. Because even though I was learning so much about boathandling and teamwork and fitness, I felt completely and utterly invisible.
What I didn’t realize until after I got home was that weeks beforehand, I’d self-sabotaged any chance of making that team. By refusing an invite to show up early and help prep the boats, I’d prioritized my own business over the team—an automatic corporate black mark. By the time the Fedex letter came, I already knew what it would say.
(Also, there were several more qualified candidates.)
Thirty-plus years later, the Mighty Mary documentary has brought back both the excitement and frustration of that week. Learning to sail a huge boat with women I would later watch on TV. Trying to meld my dinghy instincts into a big team. And the sad T-shirt that another (far more disappointed) sailor created after receiving her own Fedex letter, which read: “Kimo didn’t call.”
More broadly, the film reminds us both how much progress we’ve made and how far from true equality women remain. One of the managers admits on camera that not including any women in management was a big mistake. And yet, despite not really being set up for success, that landmark team managed to earn the grudging respect of their competitors—so much so that the men had to make a late-night, backroom deal!
After the film ended, I heard a woman seated behind us tell her (male) partner that “you just can’t possibly understand how we’re treated.” My wishful takeaway was different: why can’t we all work together, creating teams that include the best skills, without worrying quite so much about gender?
Whatever your perspective, the film is definitely sparking some great discussions about where we are now and how to move forward. For me, one truth definitely hasn’t changed in thirty years: I just want to be seen—and in charge of my own life decisions. That America3 tryout taught me a ton about both myself and the world, and I’m very grateful to the creators of a movie that brought back so many mighty memories.
Have you seen Mighty Mary? If so, what was your biggest takeaway? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and know that you will be both seen and heard! Thanks for reading, and see you next Thursday.
Thank you, Carol, for your insight and reflection!